t Half the World Away: Communication Breakdown | Attitude Problem

Tuesday, August 14

Communication Breakdown | Attitude Problem

"The basis of life is people and how they relate to each other. Our success, fulfillment, and happiness depend upon our ability to relate effectively."

If this would be true, then I have no chance on success.

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Most people know me as being a happy person. You know, the "never-a-dull-moment" kinda guy. I am that, for sure. I have always been the class clown ever since and still is to this day. I love comedy and I love making people laugh. I take it as a skill.

Sometimes though, being funny all the time does have its repercussions. Sometimes I say things I really don't mean just for the sake of being funny. I do it all the time when I'm with friends and whatever I say or do, no matter how detestable, they take it as Tj just being Tj.

Currently, my co-workers who I am very fond of, are giving me the cold shoulder. Apparently, I have said something so offensive they decided never to talk to me again. I couldn't even remember what I said or did. Again, I was misunderstood. Or perhaps, I was being myself in the wrong company. Nevertheless I think they couldn't have given me worse treatment --> Silence and neglect. After all, what is a clown without an audience.

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Let me tell you something I haven't told anyone aside from my better half. Me and my mother haven't spoken to each other for over a year now. Our grudge is so deep we left no room for communication and healing. Everyday we pretend that the other doesn't exist. Everyday we have to instill pride and hate in our hearts just to prove one is better than the other. Everyday we have to discard the comfort of a mother and son relationship. It's been so long that now, I can't even recall what it feels like to have a loving mom... Well, I think I never had one...

So how in the world could I become a "people person" given the fact that I wouldn't even speak to the very being who bore me into this world.

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I'm having trouble with a certain colleague. I'm relatively new in my field and I'm still coping up with all the changes. He, on the other hand, knows the ins and outs of the industry. Well, on his end at least.

It is my job to instruct the guy around. One day as I was asking for a little task to be done, being the senior that he is, he decided to go for a little power tripping instead of helping me out. "Nah do this first and do this after. Come back some time in the next millennium."

I fell silent and walked away. Okay, fine with me. Eat shit, die mutherfucker die.

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And all this has been bothering me.

Why can't I communicate well? It isn't hard to say sorry, it isn't hard to admit mistakes and it isn't hard to talk things over. I know all these things yet I don't do it. I won't.

Then again, maybe its just me and my attitude problem. If you think you're cool, no I'm better. If you think your intelligent, no I'm wiser. If you think you're strong, no I lord you over. If you think you're right and I'm wrong, then take it to your grave. Die with it.

I was raised like this...

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I hope I don't come across as a bad person. I'm just always misunderstood. I hope people will see how meaningful I am. Yeah, maybe I am a little loony and all but I mean no harm. And forgive me for saying things I don't really mean. Its just communication breakdown.

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21 Comments:

Blogger Jan Vincent said...

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August 15, 2007 at 1:12 PM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

First of all, thanks for the sympathy... Your marketing strat is so uplifting...

Yeah, great site.

August 15, 2007 at 1:19 PM  
Anonymous WhosWho??? said...

You cannot please everyone...
Some might reject you...
Some might misunderstand or misunderstood you...
And there is this probability that you have misunderstood others...
.
.
.
Miscommunication???

August 16, 2007 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

Yeah. I'm beginning to realize that all's my fault. But then again, what can I do, change?

August 16, 2007 at 1:32 PM  
Anonymous Whoswho??? said...

If you change yourself that will not be you anymore...
You cannot please evry people in this Earth...
Just be yourself dude! You still lucky coz your cool!
As long your conscience is clear you don't need to worry...
It's not you who have the defects.. It's them!
As they say, "Take it or Leave It"

August 16, 2007 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

Yeah you're right. Be no one else but yourself. At sabi nga ng Deftones, "be quiet and drive". I'm gonna take myself far...even half the world away. Hehe.

August 16, 2007 at 4:40 PM  
Anonymous Amihan said...

you do not have to change. maybe all you have to do is to value other people...especially the ones who have seen and appreciated you for you. if you can't change, just be better.

August 16, 2007 at 6:14 PM  
Blogger ^VinS^ said...

I'm an avid reader of your blog Mr. Cafuir and I didn't know that even a jolly and energetic person like you is capable of having this problems, issues or whatever you want to call them (I hope I'm not one them).

"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!" -- Anne Frank

August 16, 2007 at 8:45 PM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

Oh yes Vins, I am very capable..

August 16, 2007 at 8:53 PM  
Blogger ryan said...

I hear you Tj. I actually relate to most of what's on this post, believe it or not. Miscommunication is a universal problem that at one point or another other one experiences. Its probably the only other thing that's constant in life besides change. Though it is easy to rectify such a situation, as you said, most of the time our pride gets in the way and fuck things up even more. i don't know where i'm going with this, but I just thought I'd let you know that somewhere in this urban jungle, someone feels the same way you do. Take care bud

P.S. Awesome banner!

August 17, 2007 at 6:51 AM  
Anonymous Reader said...

Miscommunication and Language barrier are the main reason why the Tower of Babylon collapsed...

August 17, 2007 at 7:25 AM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

@Amihan

yeah. Better it is...

@Vins

nice blog man..

@ryan

now that's sympathy... thanx man..

August 17, 2007 at 8:21 AM  
Anonymous camz said...

If it makes you feel any better, I haven't spoken to my father in about 4 years. And I have no regrets. Haaay, naman, ganito palaa nangyayari sa mga inuman. Hehe.

August 17, 2007 at 11:11 AM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

@reader

Actually, God wanted it to collapse. And yeah, language barrier.. we speak in different voices.

@Camz

4 years? That's sad..

August 17, 2007 at 11:17 AM  
Blogger katrina said...

Little Miss Misunderstood right hea!
So were on the same boat.

August 17, 2007 at 4:51 PM  
Anonymous ryan said...

and here's hoping it doesn't sink.

August 17, 2007 at 9:37 PM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

Question is, how do we set sail?

August 18, 2007 at 7:58 AM  
Anonymous ryan said...

do we even have a sail? that would help if we do because it seems we are without a paddle, too.

----------------------------
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August 18, 2007 at 4:40 PM  
Anonymous alohapenny said...

Ride the tide as it rolls! thats how it should be done!

August 18, 2007 at 9:47 PM  
Blogger Tj Cafuir said...

@Ryan

I'll paddle using my hands. That way, everything should be at my grasp.

@Penny

I just rode the tides.. of Pundakit..

August 21, 2007 at 8:54 AM  
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