Google Power

Google is the shiznit. They can glorify and condemn all without repercussions. You wanna know why? Simple, they're Google and for me, currently, they are the Internet. Simmer down Web 2.0 folks. You'd hate me for saying this I know, but here's my stand. There will come a time when everyone of us will only need Google.

Intergalactic

Web search service, is now the realm of Google. As of August this year, the $6.1 billion global search engine company is the most used search engine with a 53.6% market share. Now that's half of everything else. That's a lot of users.

What else? Oh, Google Mail, News, Video, Maps, Groups, Product Search (still on the beta stage), uhm what else.. there's a lot more. Oh okay, Google Earth wherein satellite powered mapping search can zoom in on your head's bald spot. Definitely not basic. And how about the social media sites that the company bought? YouTube, Blogger, Jaiku, Picasa and a whole lot of technologies are on the list.

Now let's talk about more outstanding stuff. With all those applications basking in popularity, there's something more Google wants. Basically, the aim is to kick Microsoft's ass off the software kingdom. There you go Mr. Gates.

"As Google rapidly rolls out new products, the company best known for its wildly popular search engine is muscling into the software giant's turf, including its stronghold: the computer desktop."

-The Associated Press

This was actually yesterday's news. Of course Google would eventually win this turf war. What has Microsoft given to us anyway? Microsoft Office and Windows Media player was all I ever needed. No doubt, Google can deliver better service. So it may happen soon. Sooner than we think.

Search engines are the core business of the industry I work for and as far as Google is concerned, they are the primary focal point. Many of us, especially the SEO experts, would continually find ways of working around the structure. But the thing is, Google is erratic in the most inexplicable way. So no matter how much we research, things can change as drastic as overnight. Efforts can and will be deemed futile.

Domination is the keyword here. But personally, this ain't negative. Perhaps Google is the way all should follow and whatever they do, they could only do better. Let's just be there and have a clear view of the developments. And if ever things would go overboard, we'll find ways to kill the robot.

Anger Management

Last Saturday was horrific. At our basketball game, the plays are getting intense so much that I threw the ball at somebody's face. I almost went to a brawl with someone, anyone actually. I got a technical foul. A few moments later, I was back in the game shooting hoops. Suddenly, a sudden rush of hate exploded in my veins. I cursed at the referee and I got another technical, this time I was ejected out of the game. Our team lost.

Later that night, really really late, I found myself in a bar in Makati. The rush happened again, this time I was tripping on a Korean guy. I hate Koreans. I hate the fact that most of their tv shows are mass hysteria in primetime, I hate the fact that their weird corniest boybands even have fans, I hate the fact that they're living a good life here and not face poverty in their own country, I hate the fact that they choose not to learn our language, I hate the fact that there are Korean employers who treat their Pinoy workers like shit. So, as soon as I saw a pale faced kimchi running loose in the metro, it was easy for me to point to his face as a target. Again I was contained. If not, something catastrophic would've happened. I could've caused myself to get hurt. But I really didn't care.

Anger. I should learn how to manage it. It's killing me. Slowly.

She Begs

As I wander in the trappings of a day dream, this woman made me hover and yield in pure interest.

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She was wearing the color brown from top to bottom. Her hair was bound tight by what seemed like wooven straw. She wore no adorment, but I think I did saw a scapular around her wrist. Her expression wasn't blank but it showed no emotion. Her eyes.. they were like tidal waves frozen. Like photo showered in deep sepia, her aura bewitch all that surround her. At the very least, she must be 80 years old or something.

Along the stampede of rush hour, along the coming and going of trains, she waits immovably by the stairs. Her arms wrapped in aged skin dangle in the air as her palm carry very little weight. As soon as I saw shy tears fall, a realization occurred. She is nothing actually, but a filthy old beggar. She begs for pity alms amidst dust and dirt.

As I slowly walked my path past her, sea of questions floated. What happened to her? Does she have a house? Has she eaten for the day? Where is her husband? Is he dead? What about her children? Are they somewhere near? How much does she have collected? Is it enough for tomorrow? How could a handful of change give her a living? What is her name and, before time has waivered, who was she then?

She begs money for food. At some point in time she must have gone to fancy dinners and lavish celebrations. In her lifetime, I thought, she must have had more than enough in her purse to buy whatever she wants. But, what happened? Why is she now what I see her to be. Why is she not like the other aged? Why is she living in the streets? Why, in the years of twilight, does she still have to beg for money that wouldn't even suffice a hungry child? Why?

In her face I have seen the saddest. Here is reality.

Perhaps, there is no answer to this. Ever since the day we could distinguish the difference between lack and bounty we have always felt moved by the urban poor. The thing is, we could pour out our hearts and minds and pockets yet derive no solution. Sad but true. There are a million of them and heck, we couldn't even solve our own problems let alone solve theirs. All we simply could do is pity and shed a few coins here and there. I didn't give mine. I decided to blog and tell a few about it.

Anyway, the beggar would still be at the stairs. I just don't know for how long. But as for the current, as you and me pass by, there she sits and there she begs.

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Communication Breakdown | Attitude Problem

"The basis of life is people and how they relate to each other. Our success, fulfillment, and happiness depend upon our ability to relate effectively."

If this would be true, then I have no chance on success.

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Most people know me as being a happy person. You know, the "never-a-dull-moment" kinda guy. I am that, for sure. I have always been the class clown ever since and still is to this day. I love comedy and I love making people laugh. I take it as a skill.

Sometimes though, being funny all the time does have its repercussions. Sometimes I say things I really don't mean just for the sake of being funny. I do it all the time when I'm with friends and whatever I say or do, no matter how detestable, they take it as Tj just being Tj.

Currently, my co-workers who I am very fond of, are giving me the cold shoulder. Apparently, I have said something so offensive they decided never to talk to me again. I couldn't even remember what I said or did. Again, I was misunderstood. Or perhaps, I was being myself in the wrong company. Nevertheless I think they couldn't have given me worse treatment --> Silence and neglect. After all, what is a clown without an audience.

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Let me tell you something I haven't told anyone aside from my better half. Me and my mother haven't spoken to each other for over a year now. Our grudge is so deep we left no room for communication and healing. Everyday we pretend that the other doesn't exist. Everyday we have to instill pride and hate in our hearts just to prove one is better than the other. Everyday we have to discard the comfort of a mother and son relationship. It's been so long that now, I can't even recall what it feels like to have a loving mom... Well, I think I never had one...

So how in the world could I become a "people person" given the fact that I wouldn't even speak to the very being who bore me into this world.

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I'm having trouble with a certain colleague. I'm relatively new in my field and I'm still coping up with all the changes. He, on the other hand, knows the ins and outs of the industry. Well, on his end at least.

It is my job to instruct the guy around. One day as I was asking for a little task to be done, being the senior that he is, he decided to go for a little power tripping instead of helping me out. "Nah do this first and do this after. Come back some time in the next millennium."

I fell silent and walked away. Okay, fine with me. Eat shit, die mutherfucker die.

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And all this has been bothering me.

Why can't I communicate well? It isn't hard to say sorry, it isn't hard to admit mistakes and it isn't hard to talk things over. I know all these things yet I don't do it. I won't.

Then again, maybe its just me and my attitude problem. If you think you're cool, no I'm better. If you think your intelligent, no I'm wiser. If you think you're strong, no I lord you over. If you think you're right and I'm wrong, then take it to your grave. Die with it.

I was raised like this...

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I hope I don't come across as a bad person. I'm just always misunderstood. I hope people will see how meaningful I am. Yeah, maybe I am a little loony and all but I mean no harm. And forgive me for saying things I don't really mean. Its just communication breakdown.

Happiness and Everything Synonymous

In retrospect, I could still remember the defining career interview of my life. I can still recall what I was asked, what I answered and what I felt at the time.

It was my first “successful” interview. It was for an upcoming BPO company in Eastwood City and God knows how I perspired snow flakes during the whole process. I have no idea what a call center does nor do I honestly know anything about outsourcing. Everything was alien to me and all I knew was that I needed to speak fluent English. Unfortunately, I didn't have the articulate tongue. All I had was the eyes of determination.

Somehow I qualified. For my final interview, I was led to a cubicle with a foreigner to interrogate me. Thinking real hard, I still can recall her looks; overweight, blond and extremely star spangled Americana.

*Susie May: “Tell me a scenario or a situation wherein your were actually needed to learn or acquire certain knowledge in a short period of time. What did you do to cope up with it and how did things turn out for you?”

Tristan: “When I was in grade school, all of my classmates were bullying me for I was the only one who doesn't play good basketball. I was pretty much lame. The thing is, I don't like to be bullied and I know I can beat them. What I did was I trained during summer. Alone, I went out on the court with my ball and practiced and practiced all day until I got better. First year of high school came and to everyone's surprise, I was now a better player, I was able to compete with the rest. Although I wasn't as good as my classmates, I began to gain respect and eventually I became the starting point guard during sportsfests. That's all ma'am.”

*Susie May: “You know what, I have a son just like you. All day out in the field shootin' ball. I admire your will, that's good. Well, that's the end of it. Is there anything you would like to ask me?”

Tristan: “Am I hired?”

*Susie May gave a smile and nodded. I was.

She shook my hand and certainly she was shaking the hand of the happiest person in the world. It was happiness and everything synonymous. For the first time in my life I felt real success. For the first time in my life I felt affirmation. A nod, a simple nod from a stranger who's taking a risk of employing someone with only a basketball story to tell. Forever would be changed after that interview.

There would be a handful of similar scenarios after that, some ending up in failure while many turned out to be alright. As always I was still sweating ice, but nonetheless the fiery determination was always there.

I applied for a copywriter position early this year. What the company was looking for was someone who has studied journalism and courses of such and someone who has done extensive writing. I wasn't that someone. All I had to show is an article about movies. Although it was an outstanding piece, my tech support background didn't quite fit the requirements. Nevertheless, a risk was again taken. Triumphant, it was happiness and everything synonymous.

Recently, I got hired again. Same company, different position and another leap of faith. It would be this time when I remembered Susie May. God bless her soul.

My constant leaps has gotten me somewhere far from where I could have imagined. Luckily, this feet of mine happened to have a good landing. Although life may not always be about achievement, it sure is about grabbing them. People may not always give you the upper hand, but heck, your grip is all that matters.

Let me be sentimental and tell this part. In all ways I could be looked at, I want people to think me as the kid who refused to be feeble. I'm in constant movement, forward to the pursuit of happiness and everything synonymous.

*Susie May is a name I made up. Actual name is similar but I already forgot.

My Very First Article

This piece landed me a job as a Web Copywriter. Posted on my previous company's Intranet, about 7,000 employees have seen it, about 30 actually read it.

Here it is.

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"Indie, the Alternative"

We all love Hollywood. If you work of GSIS then you might say no, but then again in this industry that were in, its almost a sin not ot be updated on Paris Hilton's latest social blunder or not getting acquainted with the newest member of the "Brangelina" family. If you haven't seen the latest Hollywood blockbuster then most probably you're going to end up all ears dumb amidst the gossip exchange during lunch.

Now I ask, how does this excessive advocacy of foreign films affect the country's local film outfits? Well just by observation, I would say that its effect has crumbled if not decayed the Philippine Film Industry. Local patronage has waned a long time ago and many of us already shunned our local movies.

The reason for all this non-interest, is alternative.

Our major film producers here don't offer that. On our end, local movies still features the classic "love team" tandem to the delight of every yaya in the country. Consider the slapstick comedian with his ever so stupid sidekick, cracking jokes that Dolphy, Panchito, Chikito and Pugak came up almost 50 years ago. Who do star in your latest film that guarantees to fill cinema seats? Of course the cutest teeny bopper-turned-front-page-I'll bare it all-as long as it will catapult me into superstardom-cover girl. All has been done before so no wonder we turn to Hollywood now more than ever.

But there is an alternative. We have Indie Sine.

A theater devoted exclusively to local independent movies, which according to the countr'y top voices, are "the best movies you've never seen". Situated in the center of Robinson's Movieworld, Indie Sine exhibits the finest independent digital movies ever made. Definitely indie films has broken the barrier that typecast the genre as "experimental" art films made by students as some form of revolt against the typical mass produced films.

Take for example "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros". A story about family tradegy vividly told in the most simplistic way. Life as you know it. With a stunning showcase of acting and storytelling brilliance, the film won 14 international awards and made a leap from the confines of university theaters to our local cinemas thus paving way for a new wave of digital film making. Let not the poster fool you, the cheerful layout is nowhere to be found in the movie.

I recently saw the film "Compound" at the Bagong Agos Film Festival held at Indie Sine. I tell you this, never have I seen a local movie so dark and warped yet clear and concise at the same time. The movie mixes sex, drugs and paranoia of a complex atmosphere with a sense of transparent stillness that resides in every character. Then just when you think you've figured it all out, just when you've arrived on a conclusion on how the story ends, the director blasts a scene so haunting you'll feel your lungs choking as you grasp for air. Then black, the film is finished.


I won't dig much into the details of both films. The point here is that our local indie film makers, out of their conviction and literally out of their own pockets, created extra-ordinary films that not only art students and film critics appreciated. These films reached international shores and more importantly, received awards and critical acclaim for the genuine talent that we, in the vast world of movie making, inherently possess. It has always been there and all it needs is an audience.

This is exactly what Indie Films aim for, to strike the untapped consciousness of moviegoers whose perception of entertainment is clogged by the fantasy delirious, money making cliche of the big time industry giants of our country. Independently and with conviction, a new wave of digital filmmakers continue to expand horizons by contributing provocative films for a new generation of viewers.

Socially stimulating, politically suggestive and significant of the times, here is the alternative we should turn our eyes to. This wave may not turn the whole film industry upside down, but its current is sure to swipe the stereotype, curving a stream of variety to quench the innovative thirst of an equally unconventional audience. Here and now, let us catch the wave of Independent films, movies in the tide of change.

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It's been like 7 months since I wrote it. I sure miss writing this kinda stuff. It makes you think, not just how to approach the article, but really really think.

Do I Believe in Ghosts?

Let me tell you an eerie incident that happened last Sunday...

It was a dark night at the village. The rain had already stopped but heavy clouds still blanket the sky. No stars tonight, I thought. I'm clutching my girlfriend's hand as we walk the empty streets past the gloomy streetlights. We were going to our friend's house, well.. they're twins, in fact they're the AngTV twins if you'll remember. I plan to cap the night with shots of dim brandy and dimmer cola.

"Uno, Dos." I called out. "Oi Teej, Salee pasok pasok."

It's good to see your drinking buddies on a night like this. Although they weren't up for drinking, these two wont back out of an inuman, especially when their good friend Tj visits them.

"So were have you guys been to?"asked Dos. "We just shopped at the mall for a few clothes. I've been wearing rags to work lately." was my innocent reply. " Iba na talaga pag malakas kumita! Pa shopping shopping nalang."

Little did he know that I used my credit card and that I have to break my back just to pay those bills.

"So inom tayo?" True enough, the answer was an immediate "Yeah."

Now a little background on the house that we were in. It wasn't owned by the Ramirez family, they only rent it. Quite cheaply in fact. It was a two story house, pretty big on the vertical. There weren't much windows to get light in so when it is dark, it's very dark. I lived at the village for 11 or 12 years and I would be the first one to tell you that never an occupant on that very house lasted for very long. Something's just not right for them. I've seen tenants come and go leaving the place never coming back. However, the twins have lasted for quite some time. But it was only at that night where I knew the consequences of their stay. Something IS not right.. Actually it is a someone...

"Oi pare astig talaga si Michael Buble!" Dos connected his PSP on a computer speaker and put some sweet music on from our favorite crooner. "How's work killing you?" Uno asked me. "Hay nako, Tj always comes home late. He doesn't even have time for me anymore." Salee answered for me.

She's right, it's work that has a ball and chain around my neck. But I know she understands. Everything I do, I do it for the two of us, for our future. God knows it's she who I'm living for. Never I took a single breath without taking one for her.

Black Crowes are now playing. Not loud, but just right. Our soft laughter can be heard outside with nobody around to be aware of our merriment. The house around us is engulfed in darkness. Above us, chandelier-like bulbs illuminate the floor with a monotone yellow.

Safely tucked under the roof that shelter us from the cold, it was good times. Four friends sitting cross legged while visiting the memories of an exuberant past. That is until somebody decided to join in...

"Teej, may tumingin." Salee suddenly told me. She wasn't looking at me in the eye. It's as if she knows that what she saw is still staring at her, watching her every move. "Huh. Where?" "Dun sa may kitchen." A certain chill went up my spine and out of my skin. The house is haunted and I knew it.

"Ah wala yan, wag nyo pansinin. Kaibigan namin yan." Uno replied. He's been telling me about this ghost that was roaming around their house for years now. "Matagal na siya nagpapakita. Sa kwarto, sa kusina, pati dito sa sala. Sana'y na kami, wag nyo lang talaga pansinin.

Salee decided to change seats. I was now fronting the spot where she saw a head tilt, covering the body from sight. It was someone young, a head of a child.

"Ok, Ok let's drink.. I'm here to have a good time. Open another bottle please." It wasn't much of deal really. The twins are used to seeing that kind of terror, I was getting tipsy, my GF was getting tipsy as well. It was as if it never happened. On with the liquor.

We forgot about the "multo". I even went to the kitchen to get some food. The lights were on of course. Salee even went to the comfort room past the kitchen, but of course I was with her. We opened the lights but we turned it back off. On with the liquor.

Salee was now back again at the seat where she was before, completely fronting the kitchen hallway. As I was checking the playlist the unexpected happened again. "Nakita ko na naman sya!"

This time it was a man. "Alam nyo diba madilim dun sa kusina? May nakatayo na mas madilim pa, gumagalaw. Totoo na to. "I haven't seen it long enough to describe it in detail, but it was a man. At first I thought it was Dos, but I realized it was someone else." By then I knew we have to wrap it up. We were not alone in that house and apparently, they demand that we already leave. So we did.

It was still cold outside. Salee is now embraced in my arms terrified of what she'd seen. We walked the damp streets past the streetlight again towards home. But as we went farther and farther away from the damned place, the more I kept thinking of the man and the child. Were they related? Did they both die in that house? What could they possible want? They must have a story to tell.

We have heard stories like these ever since we have developed our imaginations. Are they real? I haven't seen one. But what happened last Sunday was an affirmation. It was my GF who saw it, right there when I'm around.

Maybe they do maybe they don't. You can never really tell until you've seen one...