t Half the World Away: May 2007

Thursday, May 31

Feature Writing

I'm currently in the works of finishing an article about the call center lifestyle. Take it as a homage to the industry I was in before this. It may be shocking and controversial to say the most, but it would be pretty accurate. Also, I missed doing feature writing so this is sort of a practice for me. I think it would finished this week so stand by readers.

Any tips on feature writing?


Wednesday, May 30

Tj Cafuir

I recently changed my blog url from tjisme.blogspot to tjcafuir.blogspot mainly because I want to see my name first page on top of the Google search results. Hey I'm self-centered. Another thing that bothers me is this... There is another TJ Cafuir on planet Earth.

Yes. I thought I'm the only one.. but no. A Friendster account secondly emerged with the name TJ Cafuir and guess what... it isn't mine.

This Tj is from Cavite. Where is that?

Now, I happen to remember what my aunt told us kids decades ago. "We have relatives in Cavite and they actually have a learning center named after our royal surname." Oh that's just great. Fine really. The thing is this "kabitenyong" TJ is older, meaning he got hold of the initials first and I'm just tail gaiting. Also, according to his profile, he is an aspiring surfer and surf photographer. Freaky as it may sound to me that we share the same interests as we also share the same name, I cannot deny the fact that we share the same blood.

Well there has to be a barrier. You rule Cavite, I rule the Blogosphere. That's the only way it should go. One TJ Cafuir in this world is disaster enough. And if ever you'll ever venture in this side of the Internet region, please don't name your blog TJ Cafuir. It would be too much for me to take.

I wish all the best in life TJ but let me tell you this. When it comes to surfing, brother, you can EAT MY CUTBACkS! Ahehe he...


Tuesday, May 29

Direct Hit

Fallen On Deaf Ears

hear me out
trying to talk to you
it’s not getting any easier
settle down.
Can’t seem to get through to you
Tension builds, we begin to fall apart
I think we’re better off apart.
Waste time with violence
This love/hate relations…

Would you wait?
While I’m trying to explain
We’re fighting again
Can you hear me?

Everyday it’s the same old thing with you
We’ve bruised up
We fight, then we make up
This shit is tiring.
We’re out of line
Is this ever gonna stop?
When will it ever be enough?

Waste time with violence
This love/hate relations
Can’t we see through the obvious?
We’re breaking down…

You can take this love to go
I’ve had enough of you
Things aren’t working out

But bebe I believe in Us

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Friday, May 25

I Am A Pirate

"Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't, this'd probably never work."

My friends this is not fanaticism, it's Idolatry.

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Thursday, May 24

How accurate is Google Analytics? / Hello Lisbon!

I, along with other million bloggers, use Google Analytics to track my blog page visitors and where they come from. Since its from the mogul Google (hey that rhymes), I have absolutely no second thoughts about the accuracy of its statistics. Never until now.

According to the map overlay, I have readers in Lisbon. Yes Lisbon, Portugal.

How can a web copywriter tucked in a small office in the heart of traffic central Shaw Blvd. have a reader in Southwest Europe? Comprehensible if you'd think maybe Blogspot admin is located or has a satellite office in Lisbon but no, they're in San Francisco. They couldn't have advertised my blog and told the Portuguese "hey this guy is nuts, check out his blog." My friends couldn't possibly caused it to happen, they can't read. All they do is stare. "Oh nice there's a picture of a surfer." And I'm dead sure tjisme.blogspot.com doesn't have a page rank, yet.

So this leaves me with two conclusions. One, analytics is showing me a big pile of steamy you know what or two, I really do have a steady reader in Lisbon. Someone somehow has accidentally clicked my url, stood on the rooftop edge of a 74 story building and shouted "Este tipo e prodigio! Faco o marcador de paginas o seu blog imediatamente e ler todas as suas palavras brilhantes ate o dia do juizo final. Saude!"

If the latter happens to be true, well great. That means I'm international now. If not, fine. I have readers in Kamuning!


Thursday, May 17

WTF comes out of the Yuppie mouth?

See I was given this herculean task to provide the content for our company's website. Me and my senior copywriter. Of course I put on my "A" game and took it SRSLY. After a few easy minutes I submitted my share of content for the "What we do" section. It was good. The copywriting gods may even have been delighted.

The project leader, the "Rising Internet Star" (search google for "the rising internet star") wanted me to do just a minor tweak on the content. "Make it more... a little yuppie".

Yuppie. I am a yuppie. My co-workers are yuppies. My drinking buds are yuppies. Jessica Alba's boobs are yuppies puppies yummies.

But how can I write a content using yuppie talk? If I use mine it'll be like, "We are a kick-ass company or "Dude your company sucks". "Yeah you know our company is like the best and yours is like really stupid and stuff".

I guess I've never been amidst the real yuppies, the ones that gulp cafe au lait and talk about the Ayalas and the Zobels. The ones that carry IBM Thinkpad laptops and drive Toyota Camrys. I've always admired them. I think they're vain, arrogant and self-centered. Exactly just like me. Only cheaper, way cheaper. I drink chilled Yakult, I talk about Capt. Jack Sparrow, I carry a terminal cellphone and I have great agility squishing myself against the MRT crowd. More of a yuckie than a yuppie.

But does this affluence really necessary in defining a person's growth and success? Shallow if you'll ask me, but then maybe it is. We live in a material world and we are a ma-material people. We survive on material things. It's ok to be material, just don't let it get the best of you.

Whatever the criteria is, it still is better to be yourself and show the world how wealthy you are, spirit and soul.

This entry is not a two-liner I suppose. Anyway it still is easy to sound "yuppie". It's always a good practice to resort to improvisation and creativity when writing a copy. And Heck. I'm the greatest web copywriter in the whole galaxy and I... am a yuppie.


Tuesday, May 15

As of the Sapping Moment...

Wheeewwsshh! Argg... It's been a week since I last posted a post (posted a post.. I will not edit this to show you how drained I am). As of this time I finished three type 1 wikipedia articles and a 260-word entry on a corporate blog. Accumulatively I typed over 1800 words in the span of 7 hours. Slow, you think? Hey I was like that the whole time last week. Not even? Ok then..."Smithers release the houndz". Ahehe he.

Anyway forgive me dear reader if may not be the Goodyear mascot that I am today. I feel just a little grumpy because tomorrow I'm bound for more work. So I'll be on blog vacation for now but hopefully I could squeeze in a two-liner post once in a while.

I'll be submitting a qualifying article tomorrow. If ever my article gets to be selected by the bosses, I'll be part of a special copywriters unit. So please kiss my coin before I throw it into the well. Until then, see you soon!


Tuesday, May 8

I Live the Ultimate Life (again, not really)

So how's weekend? Oh you all watched Spidey 3 huh.. Depressing right? Yeah I already watched it on opening day. Well actually I was in San Juan Surf Resort in La Union for the weekend, you know surfin' and just kicking it slow. We grilled fresh seafood and drank booze just after getting out of the surf. Just another weekend I thought as I watched from my longboard the cool local surfers chillin' as the sun begins to set. I love my life.



Saturday, May 5

Coolest Playlist Ever (not really)

There can't possibly be a minute that I don't listen to music while working. Music inspires me. So just to share it with you here's some of the songs I routinely listen to.

my Get up and Kick Keyword Ass

  1. Be Quiet and Drive – Deftones

  2. Generator – Foo Fighters

  3. People = Shit – Slipknot

  4. Drag the Waters – Pantera

  5. Cigaro – SOAD

my Eyes Closed Stress Relievers

  1. Fake Plastic Trees – Radiohead

  2. Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley

  3. Sleep All Day – Jason Mraz

  4. Hero of the Day – Metallica

  5. Spolarium – Imago

my I Miss My Girlfriend Lullabies

  1. Kissing A Fool – Michael Buble

  2. Fast Car – Tracy Chapman

  3. You Were Meant for Me – Jewel

  4. The Space Between – DMB

  5. Walking After You – Foo Fighters

my Caribbean Island Daydream Playlist

  1. What's My Number – Toots and the Maytals

  2. Place Your Hands – Reef

  3. Island In The Sun – Weezer

  4. All Mixed Up – 311

  5. One Drop – Bob Marley

There you go. I didn't include some favorites like Britney Spears' Sometimes and Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles because they would massacre the coolness I exude. Oh *ucker, why did I mention this, ...., shit backspace won't work...C'mon keyboard, work dammit work! iamsocorny

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Thursday, May 3

TREASON: She must be Robotic!!!

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it... and when you do your eyes turn all white and your pupil starts to squirt corpuscle fluid. Let me post what I previously wrote here --> "I have to get used to writing, even if it clogs my veins from blood flow". My blood still is flowing but they come out of my eyes as tears.

Yes I am overreacting but seriously writing can get really stressful. Before you get your fingers do their dance on the keyboard, you have to like close your eyes, say a prayer and invoke the Nick Usborne in you. Now after staring at the ceiling for hours until they form arms and slap you in the face, you finally begin to write articles like you should be.

Its funny how some people just sit down in front of their computer and type the hours away. I mean c'mon its almost unfair, here I am stretching and yawning every two paragraphs I bat out and there she is smiling the Mona Lisa while rhythmically making keyboard noise. R U a freakin' robot dear? Hmmm.. may be she is a robot, maybe she transforms herself to a laptop and the keys just begin to type by themselves! Or better yet she can be a mutant!

Anyway, the girl I'm talking about is very talented, she's a literary major in La Salle so I'll make her an exemption. But as far as I know, as with every other copywriters around me, we dance to the inaudible tune of The Beatles' Twist and Shout whenever we stumble upon the so-called writer's block. It's really hard people.

No parting words this time. See you soon.

Oh there she is again, smiling like she's the Neo of copywriters.. well let me tell you this I am the one! Arggg my eyes...